Thursday, November 11, 2010

Gestational Diabetes

Drama yesterday and didn't sleep well last night because of it. 

Last Thursday I took the 3 hour glucose test after having an abnormal 1 hour test.  I had dreaded it and even considered not taking it.  My feeling lately has been that modern medicine is so fear mongering and highly invasive..I have been determined to not live in anxiety during this pregnancy.  I have noticed that even my favorite pregnancy book is filled with the really nice images of a baby's growth every week, but then the rest of each chapter is all about all that can go wrong!  Not really helpful..since stress and worry can cause even more problems.  I'm highly prone to worry, so I'm just trying to think positively and it made me resentful that I had to take 100grams of glucose which I knew would make me feel sick for a whole day and make me worry...I had been feeling mentally/emotionally really good my pregnancy and then this..   And I think attitude can be sooo important..Sometimes these excessive tests simply lead to more stress and money spent.  On the other hand, they can catch some important problems too, so I'm not totally against them.  (ie, I did take the test ultimately)

It took a week for them to get back to me. I thought, "no news is good news, I hope" Still, I worried.  Then yesterday at the worst possible time, I found the message from the clinic, when I had just brought my son home from school..a very tired and upset child who had yet again, had a bad "silly band" experience..  (had taken the chance and let him bring some to school) and he again gave away more than he had wanted to..  I got the message to call..and tried to call and talk to the nurse, but my son was not going to be calmed enough to really be able to do anything about getting the info I needed at that moment.  My 3 hour came back abnormal..  which I guess means I have gestational diabetes.  I didn't really think I'd fail it.  I've only gained 12 pounds and I'm 30 weeks..  But I'm not surprised I have issues with processing does make me feel tired..and I do feel sensitive to it.. (and I've been having too much of it lately with the Halloween candy hanging around)--occasionally I also have a big bowl of spaghetti for lunch, or a bowl of popcorn at night..and I know those have been splurges.  And we often have a mix of whole grain bread, but also have some white ciabatta bread occasionally too..  But, I do eat really good meals with proteins and whole grains and fresh veggies..and avoid processed foods most of the time.. 

I am hoping that (the splurges aside)  I have been keeping my blood sugars managed through how I eat..although I bet I could exercise more.  It has been increasingly difficult to get to the gym.. But I do walk back and forth between home and school quite a bit and do lots of chores around the house, etc.. 

I know what I can do better..But, perhaps, I'm okay because I have been fairly moderate in my eating..(for the most part)...and maybe don't need to worry too much.  My son was 7#2oz, 7 years ago, and my daughter was 7#8oz almost 6 years ago...not big babies..  so hopefully this baby will be fine too.  probably a little bigger, though, since she is the 3rd..  Although I do remember my son's blood sugar dropping a lot the first couple of days after birth..  The pediatrician said it was because he was 2 weeks late..but perhaps I had had some glucose issues then too.  (I did fail the 1 hour test that pregnancy too, but I passed the 3 hour)

I am thinking that just because I passed the 3 hour, didn't mean I didn't have issues I could have been mindful about...I was also tested the beginning of this pregnancy and I failed the one-hour and passed the 3 hour.  I am thinking I could have been less quick to dismiss that I had passed if I had realized that I might have have been borderline..could have been more mindful all this time..  I don't think the result is so black and white..  So, I resent the fear-mongering..  (my last doc appt when we didn't know the result yet, my doc made a comment about measuring a little bigger than norm)--and mentioned the possibility of ultrasound to see if it is the baby or amniotic fluid..  (but I seem to remember that I measure a little little big because I am soo small...the baby has nowhere to go, but out since I have a short waist/etc..)  Just the suggestion, made me feel angry at implanting the worry in my mind that didn't seem necessary (yet)--And I didn't like that she told me some "scary stories" to try to convince me to get the flu shot...She has no idea the research and agonizing I have already gone through in making that decision (last year).. Fear mongering...I'm really vulnerable to it, so I really resent the does not help me to make good decisions.  (and doesn't help me sleep at night!)

I remember watching..what was that movie..can't remember but it addressed how much fear American live in, because of the media, etc..  We are often manipulated by that fear mentality..  and I now feel really sensitized to it when someone uses that tactic...Even in the natural medicine side of things too..I respect Dr. Mercola's information, but his website is filled with sensationalism and fear mongering and conspiracy theory, etc..  It is on both sides..  I believe it is called "pathos"--the persuasion of our emotions.  Logos-persuasion to our minds, and ethos-persuasion to our ethics??  (It's been a long time since I learned those terms..)


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