Thursday, February 2, 2012

Comfort Zone

We  are having a beautiful day today..clear skies and I am feeling stuck..in a rut.  My youngest is  finally napping, but I don't know for  how long. I am really hoping that today will be a good one, because the last week or so,there  have only been 30 minutes.  I need a solid amount of time..getting buggy...looking out at my garden..sorry shape..  Soon, it'll be time to put the knitting aside and start gardening again..I hope.  This nice weather  is  calling to me and beckoning me to work outside.  but  right now the task seems so daunting..as the beds are  so neglected since baby #3.

Feel a new stage emerging..  as  the weather changes and my youngest has crossed over  into being ONE..  Time to challenge myself, because I am feeling stagnant.  bored. How can I work in the garden and get out more?  We've been so tied to our routine: school and baby care/naps.  making meals, supporting playdates, Cub Scouts, violin, homework.  Tempering the angst of my kids afterschool when they are  tired or had challenging days.. Watching my baby explore closeby in areas that I am trying to keep safe for her..as  the chokeables keep creeping into those spaces, trying to widen her  safe areas so I can be in other parts of the house too.  

Feel a little lost in the daily needs that take up most of my time. Need to have a day to work intensely on something that makes me feel less "blah"..and more like a productive human. I  need a challenge.  How  do I find a way to garden with baby?  Cook a little more?  When she hates the playpen and cries if she does not have me right next to her.  and when the  kitchen does not stay safe for more than a couple of hours due to all that ends up on the floor on a continual basis..(glasses breaking, pencils, food, etc..)  

I do not say this to complain.  My intention is to figure  out a way to be more productive..and meet her needs.  Perhaps I need to "work harder".baby is awake..  :(

  later:    I went to knit/book club tonight and that helped..met some really nice  ladies, good tohave some social time..adult social time. (;  and I did get out int the sun for  a bit too.  nothing like some sun in beginning of February to bring about a little restlessness for Spring to come. 

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