Today's Gratefulness: Some days I struggle from notenoughtimitis. Not enough time in the day to do something that makes me feel like I've accomplished something of value and I start to decline and feel unworthiness. But tonight, while watching a movie with the kids, I realized how much they just wanted me there with them, and at bedtime, Keilani covered ME in her blankets, my heart "felt" the "worthy" in this day.
yesterday's post was angry(I have since removed it because I was in such an "angry place")...came out of feelings of unworthiness..those feelings also bled into today..feeling that maybe I am not such a great writer, or great at anything.. midlife crisis stuff, perhaps as 40 is creeping up and I find the time I have to devote toward professional skills seems to evade me each day. Anyway, tonight with a few sweet moments with my children offered me a moment of clarity when I remembered how important it is to them that I spend time with them..simple moments..how happy it makes them when I sit with them during a movie they choose to watch. I think I forget that more and more the longer I parent..I take it for granted how it feels to be the child. That used to seem so clearer 9 years ago..
yesterday's post was angry(I have since removed it because I was in such an "angry place")...came out of feelings of unworthiness..those feelings also bled into today..feeling that maybe I am not such a great writer, or great at anything.. midlife crisis stuff, perhaps as 40 is creeping up and I find the time I have to devote toward professional skills seems to evade me each day. Anyway, tonight with a few sweet moments with my children offered me a moment of clarity when I remembered how important it is to them that I spend time with them..simple moments..how happy it makes them when I sit with them during a movie they choose to watch. I think I forget that more and more the longer I parent..I take it for granted how it feels to be the child. That used to seem so clearer 9 years ago..
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