Sunday, October 20, 2013

Fourth Grocery Trip: All or Nothing




It is not all or nothing.  Sometimes we need to make decisions that are only for today and do not represent a "policy"  Parenting requires so much flexibility.  Yesterday, my older daughter was "off".  I am not sure why she was off.  There are a number of things that could have caused her unrest.  The full moon; not enough one on one attention; over-stimulus from a playdate the day before.  Our "unrest" as parents dealing with adult issues of our own, overflowing into our daughter's psychology.  Yesterday, I realized that I did not have to figure out what caused it; only, I had an instinctual intuition about what I should do about it.  I wasn't sure I was right about the solution, but I followed my gut--and accepted I might be wrong--and I might choose a different path on another day.

She actually had 3 different invitations yesterday; 2 play date offers, and one opportunity to go to a Birth of the Bab celebration with her grandmother.  She really wanted to go on one of the play dates, but her behavior was sending out all kinds of red flags---a symptom that something was not right with her.  It would have been easier to send her off to the play date, but sending her, I felt would not have given her the opportunity to work through what was going on with her.  She was very hard to have around yesterday; agitated; restless, crying, demanding, entitled acting; like she had a "cold" of her emotions. She was not happy that we decided to keep her home; just like she had a flu--  It made her even more upset; and choosing to keep her home this one time, may not be the "policy" we will adopt whenever she acts this way; however, I think it was the right thing to do, yesterday.  I sat with her for quite a while, just being with her while she vented. It was exhausting, but it felt right.  And, by bedtime, she seemed much more calm and centered.  The agitation was much less.

And this relates to biking how?

Well, after grocery trip number 3; I reflected on the anxiety I was feeling about biking while feeling imbalanced with her weight and the groceries.  I found a middle ground, for now, while I develop my "muscles"--  On weekends, I can bike to get the groceries without a child in tow; and during the week, I will bike my (almost 3 year old) on fun outings. I do not have to do it all; all at once.  So, today, I bike trekked with only groceries and it was absolutely okay.  A little heavy up hills, but no problems with balance.  Relief.  I do not have to quit getting groceries by bike because of the anxiety/safety issues; I do not have to quit because I can't do the super mom thing and tote both child and groceries at this time.  There is a middle way--a less ambitious, yet still ambitious enough path-

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