Where did I leave off? We were on a homeschooling
journey.
Fast forward. My kids are now almost 17, 15, and 9. Two in high school.
We have been a part of homeschool "hybrid" charter the past 3 years. For two years before that we "homeschooled" solely, a year before that, an online school, and a half year before that, we began the homeschool journey. 6.5 years (almost)
I have "mixed reviews" with this journey. Like anything else in life, it has some life changing benefits, in other ways, it has been hard too.
I put aside many things when we joined the charter. Life became much more intense. I miss the slower more flexible lifestyle of homeschooling at home, but frankly the cost was that it felt like we were living on an island. The cost now is that we are living at a much more pressured pace, but there are friendships. And now, for the next month or indefinite amount of time, we are back to working at home, and slowing down, possibly. A part of me longed to slow down, but another part of me feels the ache of being isolated. And it's scary.. The "Pandemic" I have to purposefully try to calm my mind and reassure myself many times a day that we will get through this.
This is only the first week. It's like there is this storm; a tornado we can see coming from the distance and it's getting closer and we know it's going to hit, but not how hard yet. We will have to hide undercover and let it ravage the outside of our lives and hope they "hold" This waiting... It's almost here. It is really scary.
I hope it ends up not being as bad as it ...could be..
I am thinking tonight that I must turn to what is comforting.. Back to a place I was during the Swine Flu wave. Back to gardening and knitting and kombucha and preparing healthy food. Back to trying to live sustainably. It won't be "back" It won't be the "same" but it might be a v2 of that time that I started this blog. I'm not sure.
Looking back at this time though, might help my own journey through this anxiety right now. I'm a lot older. So much has changed. It's been hard in many ways and I'd like to process this now.
I can't believe it's only been a week and now it feels like everything is different. I never imagined feeling afraid to enter a grocery store. I want to go to the coast tomorrow, but I think now it might be unwise. It seems so many people are at the Coast this weekend and we are supposed to now stay home.
My window for that trip is closing, and I think it is already closed. I heard that too many people are out there right now. I will miss the Coast.. I hope it's only a couple of months, but its quite possible things will never be the same. They are never the same anyway. From year to year. I cannot predict what comes next.
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