Nearing the end of third week at home.
So far it seems we are flattening the curve here in Oregon. (Knock on wood).
Yesterday I had a wave of feeling exhausted. It was the day after shopping which is triggers a lot of anxiety now for me. Who would have thought that going grocery shopping might feel scary? I don't think I had imagined that.
I am sleeping more now. For years I have gotten by on about 6 hours of sleep, but now I seem to need 8.
I am receiving so many emails from the school letting me know about zoom and google hangout meeting times and assignments and last night I saw an email about picking up print out materials at the school and a time slot for that pick up. (for this morning) Thanks for giving me advanced notice...
All of these emails are overwhelming to me. Three kids and many teachers per kid. I'm not getting all the emails, some of them are going directly to my teens, I think, but the ones I am getting are overwhelming me. They are getting lost in the swamp of "other emails" and junk and each email means I need to "do something" -- write down a date and time, or communicate an assignment, or drive to the school, or shower so I can look like a human for the zoom meeting.
Right now, all I can really handle is figuring out our meals for the day, getting exercise, talking to my kids, bringing my dad dinner, etc. I'm not ready to take on the school stuff right now.
I am am feeling an irrational feeling of resentment for the incoming communications and expectations. It's too much.
Then I feel shame for feeling overwhelmed by it.
Be kind to myself. What I really feel I need to focus on is sewing masks. That would be a good learning experience for my kids too. Learning to sew. I don't need the school telling me what my kids need to learn at this moment. Give us some credit. We don't need busy work. Sewing would be a really good activity for us. I don't want to be bogged down by what they think we need do to do or learn.
Perhaps that's part of the conflict I am feeling. All those meetings and assignments will get in the way of what we really NEED to do right now.
We need to make masks. We need to exercise. I want to sit down and just read to my 9 year old. There is a writing assignment she is supposed to be working on, but I just can't seem to get myself to prioritize it right now.
If we have to learn at home right now, why cannot we we do this in the way we feel is best! All of those external expectations will get in the way.
It's time to cook, garden, exercise, sew, read, nurture ourselves, create art.
What do I do with this dissonance right now? Torn between following their authority and doing what I feel would be most healthy for us.
I suppose I've already decided I'm not driving to the school this morning. I had only just seen that email about it at 3:30 this morning. I'd have to leave right now and I haven't even showered yet. I feel like I need to make a choice.. That was one choice. We won't have the print outs. But making that trip would be at least an hour of my morning and that means I wouldn't be here for setting the stage for our day, breakfast, or setting the expectations for school work itself.
This is not business as usual. Maybe I'll get the materials next week?
(below is copy/pasted from FB) as a time capsule of what it is like right now)
Just so I NEVER forget..... April 3, 2020
This is the Novel Coronavirus (Covid-19) Pandemic, declared March 11th, 2020.
-We started isolation March 12, 2020
-The price of gas a mile from our home is $2.42 (in Feb it was 3.49).
-All K-12 Schools in Oregon are closed - distance learning being put into action. -Only a matter of time before they likely announce kids are finishing the school year at home online.
-Social distancing measures at least 6 ft, Kate Brown issued "Stay At Home" policy.
-Tape on the floors at grocery stores and others to help distance shoppers (6ft) from each other.
-Limited number of people inside stores, therefore, lineups outside the store doors.
-Stores have set aside special elderly and medically fragile shopping hours.
-Non-essential stores and businesses closed.
-Dine in restaurants closed, only drive-thru, or delivery allowed.
-State and National Parks and trails closed.
-Entire sports seasons cancelled.
-Concerts, tours, parades, festivals, entertainment events - postponed or canceled.
-Weddings, family celebrations, holiday gatherings, funerals - canceled.
-No masses, churches are closed.
-No gatherings of 50 or more, then 20 or more, then 10 or more.
-Don't socialize with anyone outside of your home.
-Children's outdoor play parks are closed.
-Shortage of masks, gowns, gloves for our front-line workers.
-Shortage of ventilators for the critically ill.
-Panic buying sets in leaving shelves bare. Toilet paper, hand sanitizer, disinfecting supplies, water bottles, baking supplies, baby wipes are hard to find.
-Manufacturers, distilleries and other businesses switch their lines to help make visors, masks, hand sanitizer and PPE.
-Government closes the border to all non-essential travel.
-Fines are established for breaking the rules.
-Stadiums and recreation facilities open up for the overflow of Covid-19 patients.
-Press conferences daily from the Trump. Daily updates on new cases, recoveries, and deaths.
-Government incentives to stay home.
-Barely anyone on the roads.
-People wearing masks and gloves outside.
-Essential service workers are terrified to go to work.
-Medical field workers are afraid to go home to their families.
-6.5 Earthquake hit Idaho (Boise) March 31st 2020.
-As of today there are 245,175 cases in the U.S. and 6,059 deaths.
-Zoom meetings are becoming the norm. We have been participating in Zoom study groups, Holy Day celebrations, meetings and visits.
-All K-12 Schools in Oregon are closed - distance learning being put into action. -Only a matter of time before they likely announce kids are finishing the school year at home online.
-Social distancing measures at least 6 ft, Kate Brown issued "Stay At Home" policy.
-Tape on the floors at grocery stores and others to help distance shoppers (6ft) from each other.
-Limited number of people inside stores, therefore, lineups outside the store doors.
-Stores have set aside special elderly and medically fragile shopping hours.
-Non-essential stores and businesses closed.
-Dine in restaurants closed, only drive-thru, or delivery allowed.
-State and National Parks and trails closed.
-Entire sports seasons cancelled.
-Concerts, tours, parades, festivals, entertainment events - postponed or canceled.
-Weddings, family celebrations, holiday gatherings, funerals - canceled.
-No masses, churches are closed.
-No gatherings of 50 or more, then 20 or more, then 10 or more.
-Don't socialize with anyone outside of your home.
-Children's outdoor play parks are closed.
-Shortage of masks, gowns, gloves for our front-line workers.
-Shortage of ventilators for the critically ill.
-Panic buying sets in leaving shelves bare. Toilet paper, hand sanitizer, disinfecting supplies, water bottles, baking supplies, baby wipes are hard to find.
-Manufacturers, distilleries and other businesses switch their lines to help make visors, masks, hand sanitizer and PPE.
-Government closes the border to all non-essential travel.
-Fines are established for breaking the rules.
-Stadiums and recreation facilities open up for the overflow of Covid-19 patients.
-Press conferences daily from the Trump. Daily updates on new cases, recoveries, and deaths.
-Government incentives to stay home.
-Barely anyone on the roads.
-People wearing masks and gloves outside.
-Essential service workers are terrified to go to work.
-Medical field workers are afraid to go home to their families.
-6.5 Earthquake hit Idaho (Boise) March 31st 2020.
-As of today there are 245,175 cases in the U.S. and 6,059 deaths.
-Zoom meetings are becoming the norm. We have been participating in Zoom study groups, Holy Day celebrations, meetings and visits.
One day this post will show up in my memory feed, and it will be a yearly reminder that life is precious and not to take the things we dearly love for granted.
We have so much!
Be thankful. Be grateful.
Be kind to each other - love one another - support everyone.
Be thankful. Be grateful.
Be kind to each other - love one another - support everyone.
We are all one! ❤️
*This has been copied
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